5 Questions for the Higgs Boson Particle

5 Questions for the Higgs Boson Particle

By Andy Borowitz

An Exclusive Interview

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – The Higgs boson particle has been everywhere these days – on TV, in newspapers and magazines, courtside at the NBA Finals with Kanye West.  We caught up with him as he took a breather for the 4th of July, at his home in East Hampton.

Q: First of all – and I have to ask this – “God particle?”  Really?  Who started that?

A: I have gotten so much shit for that!  (laughs)  I don’t know where that started.  Probably TMZ or somewhere!  Look, if people want to call me that because they like what I do… well, I’m humbled.  It’s cool to know that what you do makes people happy.  I love my fans.  But God particle?  I don’t think so!  I can’t even get my iPhone to sync. (laughs)

Q: Speaking of what you do… what do you do, exactly?

A: Probably what I’m best known for, for better or worse, is making atomic particles have mass.  But I don’t want to be pigeonholed as that, because I don’t want to put limits on what I plan to do in the future.  Like, right now I’m doing a lot of things that don’t involve atomic particles or mass or anything like that.  For example, my menswear line.  It’s a joint venture between me and Hugo Boss.  It’s going to be called either Higgs Boss or Hugo Boson.  Or we may go a whole different way and call it H. Biggy.  My branding team is into it right now.  I haven’t been this excited about something I’ve been involved in since I created the universe.  Also, there’s gonna be a fragrance.

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